I get how miserable missing these is, I've personally went through it myself and I unironically felt like my soul crumpled and died, her telling people not to gatekeep the vods instantly provided me with relief though
It felt as if i came back to life
>>70741381I hope you work through the brainworms, it's not that bad! You have vods at least! Imagine if you had no vods? If just missing them now makes you want to kill yourself, imagine how bad it could've been had there been no vods, if you can't imagine how bad it could've been then it means brainworms are at fault
You're not a failure-- probably. I don't know you, maybe you are, but given your post there's not enough information to say that you are a failure
>>70741598It's not gatekept, it's just unfortunate with the whole timezones thing
She does want you there, but there are certain circumstances and variables that get in the way
Also there's little chance of you being treated as a bad person or inferior to others purely because you didn't show up to a watchalong, how come you guys push this narrative onto the discord watch alongs, but not previous shadowchama streams?
You're probably mostly right when you say it's impossible to win against shondo, I'd like to belive there is a way though
I hope you work through the brainworms as well