>>8085761The thing with Selen is she loves Apex. She just doesn't want to be seen as a super competitive person. Her past life got leaked everywhere and she had to admit she was a former pred but she downplays it a lot, yet everyone, even JP Nijis, are praising her skill which puts pressure on her which is one of the reasons she had that vent stream. She also got hate from the pro Apex community when Presley played with her on accident in randoms. She really wants to not be known as "that Apex chuuba" just to play it occasionally. She is the only NijiEN fighting for more game perms, and even got Starcraft perms (that KR branch went crazy over because they never thought to get that for some fucking reason) so she really does want to branch out.
She is also adjusting to actually having people to talk to for support because she said before all this, she only ever talked to maybe 3 people online, she was pretty lonely. Most of her insecurity is believing she isn't picking up the slack when behind the scenes she is the most hard working EN, she's the one who sets up Obsydia collabs, the one who set up MC for Obsydia because the other two wouldn't, the one asking their Manager things while the other two won't, the one who tried to set up this Apex collab that fell through and forced her to beg Vshojo to play, getting game permissions, getting ENGLISH SONG permissions that Nijisanji as a whole does not have, not even to be able to sing unarchived (?!) working on networking, etc. She just is very down on herself despite her work.