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It was 3 years ago that I was introduced to vtubing by a dog playing my favorite childhood games. I didn't follow it much because I didn't speak Japanese much, but stuff like Next Color Planet and some covers here and there got me to check up on Holo every once in a while. Then they announced an English branch and I got interested.
The debuts were rocky, but it was fun! I got really into watching streams, looking forward to what they were all going to do and how they'll interact. I enjoyed Mori's music (Live Again is still my favorite of all her songs), Kiara's start was extra rough but her coming into her own was great. Ina was always reliably at a time I could watch near the end of my workday, and I really loved her Gesture Drawing Streams, Gura was always fun to watch and I'll kind of admit I could never really get into Ame all that much. Nothing against her though, it was more of a skill issue on my part.
And then a year passed, a lot of fun times were had, and then Council debuted. It was like I got hit by a truck. I liked Myth; I wasn't really attached to anyone in particular. But then Fauna debuted and it's like all my reason had simply been tossed out the window. It wasn't immediate, I wouldn't say. I thought the Yandere RP was kind of cringe but overall I thought she was cute and thought her debut was fine. Then spore happened and I realized I couldn't really stop thinking about her; I couldn't get her off my mind. I'd save every image of her I could get my hands on as well. Then, the Pokemon Unite stream just kind of cemented the fact that I was...uncomfortably attracted to this woman? I thought the feeling would go away, I thought I was just being stupid; don't wanna be like those people on /jp/ (now /vt/) who go nuts and gosling or post about how much they love their oshi! That's not me, I've been watching Vtubers for over a year and nothing like that happened! Couldn't possibly be me! This'll go away soon.
And it never did. Every one of her streams I feel like I'm falling deeper and deeper with no sight of an end to this bottomless pit. I can't keep it in. I love Fauna. And I'm not sure if I'm frightened by this feeling or not.
Sorry for the mucho texto I really needed to get this off my chest.
