>>13017537I thought I was too self aware to fall too deep but recently I realized I mentally could not enjoy some ASMR content I had enjoyed previously because it felt like I was "cheating" on my oshi by listening to it. It's not even lewd ASMR, just really intense ear cleaning which I was partial to because I only get a slight reaction to normal ASMR. Similarly, I found myself unable to masturbate to imagery that wasn't my oshi. I wonder what the next step is for me. She doesn't really promote behaviour like this even as a joke so it's all on me too. Though, if she explicitly asked her fans to only watch her I would comply immediately.
