>>25066103By the way there is an easy way out of this.
Just stop caring and focus on something or someone else.
The reason you start counting days and want her to stream comes from a personal mindset issue inherited from a dysfunctional family during childhood likely with an absent parent.
You learned to accept the absence of this parent and to think of it as normal and started to look for the same experience after becoming an adult because your beliefs didn't change.
To change your future you need to change your perception of the past.
Remember that traumatic past where you wished for your parent to come back and imagine a different past instead.
The solution to this problem I suggest is to imagine another parent replacing this deficient parent, even if not blood related. Imagine in that past event a loving and caring person came back instead and cared for you.
Another possibility is to imagine having a smaller brother who was there in that situation and when no one came home you felt his sadness and decided to become his own parent instead and care for him like he deserves.
If you manage to change your belief you will reject people who are emotionally absent from your life and start to look for healthier people instead.
