Ayame September 2nd Zatsudan Stream Summary
>It's been two months since she last streamed, unless you watched her on stage yesterday which indeed was her, the one and only Ayame performing and dancing on the Holo Stage for HoloSummer. Is really sorry for always saying this but apologizes for being away so long. Stayed over at her parents house due to her Grandma's passing for a good while. Was planning on coming back early but while sleeping the weight of the situation hit her like a brick. Her mental took damage as she realized that her Grandma is dead and her mother has cancer that has a chance of coming back multiple times even though she successfully got through surgery and chemotherapy. During the funeral Ayame's mother muttered that she would probably be the next one which in no way helped Ayame's mental state. Ayame had really good memories of her Grandma, as she was the one who took care of her the most and even taught her how to cook, she really really loved her Grandma. The hardest part was seeing how much pain her grandfather was going through who was doing his best to try to hide his sadness but it was futile.
>Around July or so, the problem she has with her ear flared up again, really hitting her hard and causing her to nearly lose hearing in them. (This particular problem flares up whenever she gets incredibly stressed and having a family member die is pretty stressful I'd say!) She did plan on coming back after the end of July since she was fine when she did the collab with Chloe, Kanata and Koyori which is why she made that comeback tweet after everything was said and done, but then witnessing the ceremony of putting her grandma's ashes into an urn, her mental state once again plummeted to rock bottom. She consulted her manager and her manager said that she should take August off as well to make sure that she gets proper rest and struck out any streams she had planned for August. Basically Ayame didn't want to stream when she wasn't confident that she'll be able to bring positive vibes and smile to everyone during this time and when she can't do that, her motivation for streaming is at a big fat zero. Even during this stream, her energy wasn't as high as usual but she is doing better and that's really all that matters in the end.
>When she tweeted that she was going to stream, she looked at the replies and she mostly saw very warm and happy replies which made her heart flutter. She thought that most people would be angry at her since she streams so little that basically nobody knows who she is and that she'd understand if you guys were angry or distressed about her not showing up for over two months but she really didn't think that her Grandma's death would have shattered her mental that hard. It was a bigger wound than she was expecting and didn't know how to bandage the wound at the time. (This is where Fubuki slammed the door open in her chat and yelled welcome back, which she also did on Twitter since Fubuki is cute.) Because of this, Ayame completely forgot what she was going to talk about. It was cute. Anyway she's streaming tomorrow too, she confirmed it so it's happening! Well that's only because tomorrow is...her 4th year anniversary! That's good news /hlgg/! It's been FOUR whole years since her debut and that's four years you've heard of her giggles and seen her smile, can you even believe something like that? She was planning on writing letters but then she realized that she sucks ass at writing so she'll probably do that for Member's Only. She also said don't force yourself to join her membership, it's embarrassing. (cont.)
