Long time viewer first time caller

I am a talentless hack and I want to make a Vtuber streaming channel. While I want to get a million followers in a months worth of time realistically I can probably only get maybe 300 or 400 or so followers in a couple years.

What are some ideas to give my channel traction?

I am thinking about astroturfing myself on this board and self-promote myself in the same thread while pretending to be other people. Another idea is to wear fingerless gloves, nail polish, and arm warmers and get stupid simps to give money to me while i try and hide my voice.

Any assistance is appreciated