>>48168641A real problem that I've only just recently been able to understand and articulate with clarity is that women seem to either not understand or not care that from a man's perspective kindness and friendship are a part of a reciprocal relationship.
Men understand even from boyhood that if somebody does something for you there is an obligation that puts on you to be good back to them, to have their back because they had yours. When a man goes out of his way for a woman tries to give her support or aid (be it financial, emotional, interpersonal, etc) and it doesn't result in her having respect or admiration or interest in him it feels like a genuine act of betrayal because if a man did that for another man and it never translated into the other guy wanting to return that care/favor or didn't result in that person showing you some kind of respect because of it you would know he's a not a good friend or a good man.
We all know what this is like, think of that one friend in your social circle who is always borrowing money, always bumming rides, always borrowing your shit and does nothing in return or still does shit to disrespect you despite what you and other people do for him. Nobody likes that guy, everyone feels like he's a tool who takes advantage of others sympathies.
When a woman "friendzones" a man what is happening is she is taking advantage of him emotionally even if he never realizes that's what's going on.
I look back on all of the relationships I tried to start and spun my wheels on and the one thing I realized is that at no point in time did any of the women I was interested in refuse my attention or my gifts or my time until I asked them to go out with me. In every situation their allowing me to spend myself on them felt to me like a reinforcement of "this woman likes me, she wants to spend time with me". And then when I got shot down it broke my heart because it felt like nothing I did mattered all of a sudden.
If she was willing to go suck some other guy's dick who I never saw spending the same effort that I was why the fuck was I around?
If any of those women had early on told me "thank you, but I can't accept that gift" or "thank you but I want you to know I'm not able to pursue a romantic relationship with you" it would have still sucked but it would have spared me all of the emotional investment I put into them and an expectation that I had a chance with them.
That never happened though.
I want to believe it wasn't malicious and that women just don't understand how important things like that are to men but at the same time it does make you jaded and cynical - hell it makes you frustrated and angry.
I don't know if I'm a misogynist or not but my interactions with women have taught me to never treat them well. It doesn't matter how far you go or do or try to accomplish to stand out and be somebody special. They just don't care.
