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“Heyyyy, Andy!”
The burly man behind the counter greeted you warmly. You nodded and grunted a response, making your way to the drinks. You grab a few Jones sodas, the sugar helps keep you awake, then head to the alcohol and grab a six pack of Voodoo Ranger. It was cheap here, since bitch niggers couldn’t stand how bitter it was. More for you, always in stock. You bring it up to the counter, then walk back to grab some more ramen and Spam.
“How you doing man, you get that job you were talking about?” He runs the goods under the scanner while making small talk. You’re on edge and don’t really want to deal with this charade.
“Nah, they didn’t call me back. Probably gave the gig to some nigger.”
“Sorry to hear that man, but hey, keep looking, I’m sure something good will happen soon.” He bags up your shit and pushes it across the counter to you. “Just remember, don’t say no to a good offer, you know?”
You grab the bags away from the smiling bastard. You hope he dies of a fucking coronary. Everything around you is making you sick. Stepping back out into the city, you take a moment to compose yourself. Staring at the sky, you wonder where it all went wrong. Where did you fuck up, who did you piss off to end up in this shit pile called your life? You begin your trudge home.
Silent pedestrians, distant cats yowling, sirens and murmurs. The standard sounds of the city. You get to your building and unlock the door, the familiar buzz of safety, something you could never forget. Trudging your way to your apartment on the second floor, you sigh. It’s all so tiring. You set your bags at the front door to your apartment, turn around and begin climbing the stairs again.
5 flights and you reach the roof. You swing open the door, the lock has always been busted. Sometimes tenants party up here, but it was just you tonight. You walk to the edge and peer at the street below. People were still wandering around aimlessly, ants trapped in the farm. You climb up and stand on the edge. They won’t blink an eye.
“Why?”
She asks in confusion, but you can hear what simmers below.
“My apartment was on the 3rd floor.” You speak into the night air. You miss how it felt. How it -really- felt. “And the building was only 4 stories high.”
She sighs. “Nobody’s perfect, Andy.” The crunching of gravel as she approaches. “But I can make it all better.” She smiles up at you innocently as she casually sits down on the edge, wearing her oddly revealing dress even in the cool night air. You’re flooded with emotions. You want to protect her smile, to touch her alabaster skin, to make love to her madly right here and now.
“You can do all that and more, you know? I would let you do anything you want to me, Andy.”
You blink, clearing your thoughts. “That’s not my name.”
Her smile disappears, a look of stern consternation overtakes her before she quickly looks away.
“The guy at the corner store never learned anyone’s name, he just picked one and ran with it.” You inform her. “He also died when I was just 8 years old. Heart attack. Happened right in front of me.”
“Well then, what is your name?” She spit out while looking away.
“It’s the only thing stopping you, isn’t it? My name?”
She looks over at you again. Devoid of emotion she looks you dead in the eyes. “Nothing can stop me. I just want to know why you’re different, and you won’t tell me. Look around you,” she gestures out to the city, “You’re all alone. I’m the only thing that’s real here. Just accept that and we can stop this little game. Let me in.”
“And then what happens?” You look to the stars, with their promises of existence beyond time. Of worlds beyond imagination. Glimmers of hope in a cold, emotionless expanse.
“Everything you ever dreamed of, and more. All your prayers answered. Just let me in.” You can hear the smile return to her face.
“Would it be real though?”
“It would be real to you.”
“I’d rather wake up.”
You step off the edge and close your eyes, feeling the rush of wind caress the tears away from your eyes. You’re so tired of it all.
You jolt awake.
“Wah!”
Your girlfriend jumps as you try to get your bearings. Where are you? You’re… your apartment, the sun shines through the large patio window, accentuating the modern white furniture. You look over at your girlfriend as she looks at you with concern.
“What’s wrong, honey?”
You take a moment to form the words. “I… I don’t know, I think I just had a nightmare.”
“Aww, there there.” She gently pats your head and then pulls you back down to lay on her lap, “It was just a bad dream. Tell me about it. Let me in.”
