>>57331619The post really explains it already but in case you need crossing the dots, her changing her position and doing a male collab to enter an APEX tournament not only breaks a months longstanding promise but also involves a game the core overseas fans hates (for various reasons) that she's hopelessly addicted to (she was probably manic too to take this sudden decision)
Choosing both the game and the collab (not trying to justify her here, but it was the only team she could have gotten into really) over this core fans and suddenly felt like getting backstabbed basically for them and she knew this very well. Nonetheless she wanted to have her cake and eat it too (she didn't want to turn on them yet, wanted to keep both) so she tried this damage control measure because she probably expected them to maybe concede to her this time and be little yes-men like her core japanese gachis (that are hurt inside but still support her no matter what).
Them making a scene out of this already would put her in defensive mode like with her antis, but probably what made her madder were the ones choosing to just leave without saying a word because you can neither talk with them again to convince nor make an example out of them to the rest of your fanbase to convince them that they have become senseless antis.
Anyways, she got blacklisted out of the tournament before even starting for the reason described (and this has been cleared to everyone) and she became manic-depressive over not being to play her shit game to death,
not getting the recognition from the FPSfags normies community and in a tiny part of her she was already depressed/angry at her long-time overseas fans that supported her for so long, even in the very accident, leaving.
This is complicated mentally for her because she wants so hard to bunker down and think of herself as the victim as with many other things but it's difficult to do what when it involves top donos that have supported her a lot for years.
This is my especulation but i think even herself is aware that something doesn't feel completely right in doing that.
When the time of the twitcast came she, still in manic depression, just conflated her two personal conflicts that have nothing to do in common but it's easier for her to think that they're related somehow.
TL;DR: Both made her feel conflicted and bad, it was easier mentally to conflate both and blame the kaigais.
