>Be a Japanese inconvenience store worker
>Getting ready to close up shop just after midnight
>After the 2 hour train ride home, you may actually get 3 hours of sleep before your next shift (twice as much as last night)
>Suddenly, you hear a quiet thumping that quickly gets louder and louder, soon so deafening it completely drowns out the entry chime as a towering figure stoops under the awning and squeezes between the automatic doors
>Quaking and rooted to the spot, you're helpless before this force of nature as it looms ever closer. It's impossible to make out any discerning features beneath its baggy clothes apart from those wide, piercing eyes, set above a black face mask that must be concealing a gaping maw that could swallow you whole
>And yet, despite the fact that it goes against all the known laws of the universe, something deep in your reptilian brain tells you that the monster before you is, in fact, a woman
>"HEY MY DUDE, COULD I GET SOME GOLDFISH SNACKS AND AN ONEEGEEREE?"
>Your fight or flight responses immediately kick in, and despite not having any idea what she just said, you know that unless you offer the beast a diversion, you'll find yourself in its belly.
>You grab a cold tuna onigiri from the warmer and offer it up as sacrifice whilst not daring to look her in the eye, hoping to sate its hunger long enough to give you an opportunity to escape
>"AWW, F-WORD, ALL OUT OF GOLDFISH SNACKS? DON'T SWEAT IT MY DUDE, I'LL DROP BY SOME OTHER TIME"
>And then, after leaving a smattering of coins on the counter (no doubt taken from some previous unfortunate victim), she leaves just as soon as she came
>But, somewhere deep down, you know that this will not be the last time you stare death in the face
I fucking hate this woman
