>>6015903It's self hatred. She's aware that her rise to fame was being a pedobait. She loves voice acting, but she can never break out of that gimmick. She spends her streams making indirect jokes about self harms, because she wishes she was punished.
At the same time, it's bringing her so much money she can't really stop, especially given that Russia's economy is in the shitter and her father has passed. She feels her money is the only reason her family accepts her.
Every time she streams, she sits alone in her heavily soundproofed apartment with a high end security door, bawling by the window and wishing to jump. But she can't, she's the only one keeping the family afloat.
Pain neko
