>>70580272My parents divorced when I was 5. My younger brother and I stayed with our mom and didn't see our father anymore after that. My mom eventually went on to have a kid with another man - who I never liked - a little halfsister. They separated too, leaving just my mom and us 3 kids. During a vacation with the 4 of us and a close female friend of my mother, they got drunk one evening and my mom started talking about how she would cheat on my dad back in the day and about how her first kid (me) was probably fathered by that other dude, and that she would tell me once I was older. I confronted my mom & her friend about this and asked about my real father (they thought I and my siblings were already sleeping, but I overheard their talk by pure chance), she just deflected saying that they were talking about something else entirely and that I misunderstood, then she hastily sent me to bed. I was 10 years old at the time and the next day we went on as if the whole thing never happened, with neither me nor my mom ever mentioning the topic again (never saw my mom's friend again after that vacation, either). My dad (the person I thought of as my dad, anyways) eventually came back into our life when I was 16, I wasn't gonna have contact with him at first because he had abandoned us when I was 5, but my younger brother wanted him to be a part of our life again and so I caved in for his sake. I'm 24 now and our relationship has been doing fine since then, but I feel very conflicted because I don't know if he's my actual father or not, nor if my brother is actually just a halfbrother. I've thought about telling them, but I'm scared of what it would do to our family dynamic. On the other hand, I feel horrible knowing about this and keeping it to myself, and I'm scared of what would happen if my mom decided to spill the beans instead because I have no idea of how the others would react to me knowing it all along and never saying anything.
To be honest, I sometimes wonder if what I heard during that vacation was actually just a dream or if I genuinely misunderstood whay my mom & her friend were talking about, but I don't have any way of further digging into this without revealing the whole thing to the rest of the family. Obviously, my relationship to my mom has been difficult ever since.
Shigga
