>>74284818>husband raceAnon, you aren't Japanese. You were never in the race. Learning Japanese doesn't make you a proud 日本人 native.
Do you wanna know something funny? My previous oshi was, of course, a JP holo. She was also retarded. So retarded that she failed to read mildly complex kanji in video game cutscenes. So retarded that she wasn't even aware of certain Japanese slang. On dozens of occasions, I literally ended up posting in chat about what certain japanese words were when they used complex kanji or slang(not unprompted obviously, it was requested). Let me restate for clarity; I ended up CORRECTING MY JOP OSHIS JAPANESE ON SEVERAL OCCASIONS. I spoke exclusively in Japanese in chat(naturally). I did this for years. I even joked once about not knowing Japanese in chat with her and she laughed and told me to not use that excuse in order to get away from the conversation, with her going "come on I know how good at Japanese you are".
Until the very end, with every single superchat I sent(in absolutely perfect Japanese), there was a 10% chance of not just her but also several JOPs in chat going "日本語上手” afterwards.
People love to meme about becoming Japanese and they love to meme about never being Japanese. Learn from my mistakes. You will NEVER be Japanese. No matter how hard you study. No matter how much media you consume. No matter how much you study Japanese literature and even force yourself into a custom designed Japanese learning course meant to speedrun the Japanese learning progression of a native Japanese speaker from childhood to adulthood until you understand even the most obscure cultural references JOPs make that even the majority of the JOPs in chat don't get.
No matter what you do. None of it matters. None of it. You will never be Japanese. I learned Japanese so extensively that I literally sometimes get irritated at obvious grammatical mistakes made my JOPs in chat(and no I don't mean slangy shortenings, I mean trivial fuck-ups in grade school level 文法 that make the message functionally illegible)
I read college level Japanese academic texts to test myself(did you know a funny detail about higher level Japanese academic coursework is that once you get to a sufficiently high level, the coursework unironically starts recommending English resources? It's fucking hilarious, advanced academic coursework in Japan literally ends up becoming "okay now learn English" LMAO)
And yet
In spite of literally all of that
"日本語上手”
I say all this now and still I know that I scream into the wind. I scream into the wind citing archaic Japanese poetry, some of which is source material for semi-common adages used in the modern day even though the people using those adages usually never even read the source material those adages stem from in full. I could even write a full paragraph in Japanese using exclusively archaic grammar. I could write a paragraph using Japanese reserved for politicians, which use words that are almost entirely reserved for such settings and as such are often so wildly different from colloquial Japanese that actual Japanese casual listeners need to fucking google what is actually being said despite it being their own language.
All that, all that time, all that effort, yet in the end, what do I get?
日本語上手
You will never be Japanese
That is not me mocking anybody
That is not me dissuading anybody
This is the story of my life
I am reminded of the wandering jew, cursed by god to suffer an eternity of 上手 for the crime of being a white man
And yet these words will never reach any ears
The masses here will continue to throw themselves at the wall that is Japanese literacy
And in the end they will find only 上手
This is the endless cycle that fate has doomed he who seeks to be Japanese
This is the ultimate conclusion of this unyielding wheel of fate as it churns through the chimerical aspirations of the many JSL hopefuls who throw themselves endlessly into the false dream of one day becoming Japanese
上手 you are, and 上手 you will be
Such is our fate
