This is a bit heavy and essentially only pertains to myself and the reasons I watch Gura, and my worries about that. So read at your own peril and remember that it doesn't affect you either way.
I'm starting to feel I have a wrong image of her in my mind and it's eating me from the inside. I feel like I've been suckered into supporting something that is in total opposition to my beliefs, which are merciless and are only concerned with eternity. It isn't a religious thing, but it appears religious to people who aren't versed in metaphysical subjects and topics which are too wide to explain. Anyway, here's my issue. I regard all homosexuality as a complete implosion of a person, something that is a testament to the worthlessness of a person. It is egotism combined with infantile fear of the other gender, the inability to accept this other which is the one thing we truly need to experience and come to terms with to become true individuals. A homosexual is simply a failed human. Homosexuality is something adults, or people who are mentally and physically healthy do not indulge in or feel anything about it. The only proper reaction to have towards it is the same disgust you feel when seeing shit smeared on your shoe. And that poses a dilemma for me. Am I supporting a person who considers these thing okay, or is herself a lesbian? More than that, she'll be playing that troon game in a day or two about some character who is non binary, which is simply just another form of failure and delusion. To be blunt, there is no such thing. People are either normal (heterosexual) or they are lunatics and freaks. I don't even know if she knows what she's gonna play, but I'm starting to get really suspicious of her. I'm starting to see her as just another victim of liberalism who has internalized and supports their beliefs and practices, which are to me abhorrent and are detrimental to all that is good in the world, and the world itself. The problem is that I still see her as a person who can and should succeed, internally and externally, but is doing all the wrong things and choosing all the wrong options regarding things of paramount importance. Despite the fact she can WIN and tear herself from them. I feel as if she's choosing self-destruction despite all the ability to flourish. And this is a horrible feeling for me. I am however left with the simple knowledge that I must not fail myself, and that I may need to simply leave her behind and not watch her anymore if I determine or become sure she is on the side of the enemies of Mankind. It all sounds very chuuni, but once you look at the world you can clearly see there's not much place to bullshit your way out of difficult decisions and not take firm stances. I wouldn't care if she herself didn't appear as someone poised to win, with internal qualities that can take her far. I feel like a spectator watching someone fail and can't do shit about it. IF of course any of this is true. I hope I am wrong, and more terrifyingly I know that I can't know for sure. The mere fact I could be implicated into being a supporter of a supporter of this... hell that leftism has created is gnawing at my mind.
I hope she makes all the right choices or has made them already. Thanks for reading my blog.
