Every night becomes another battle that I'm inevitably going to lose. Every night I wonder if I'll wake up again the next day, or if I'll continue to live in this torment. They haunt the realm of my dreams and have started to seep into my waking one. I see shadows in the corner, ghastly apparitions and distorted faces where there shouldn't be any. They twist and warp in unnatural ways, the sounds they make follow me everywhere and overtake my senses. As if I can feel their every sound and movement with every fiber of my being, and their hands grab my very soul and force me to experience the fear of what lies beyond. I often pray for death just to stop this crippling fear that arises every single night. Not even waiting for the sun to rise can help me, as they simply show me darkness where there is none. There is no light for me, they killed it. I often wonder why they don't take me already, why they toy with me like this. When I summon the courage to scream at them, they simply stare back in silence. Then, they show me things. Things no one should see, things no one should ever hear. When I cry, they just listen, then the torment begins again. Why do they show me these things? Why do they whisper those words to me? I shot myself last night, right in the head. And the night before that, too. But I wake up. I keep waking up, they don't let me go. The gun is useless, and trying to leave this place brings me right back here and time skips to the next day somehow.
Tonight I will try to sleep again after praying. And if God is merciful, then He will put an end to my nightmare and not allow me to wake up ever again. Goodnight.
