IM SORRY FOR THE WALL OF TEXT - I won't reply to this, I just thought I should do my best to give answers and correct my mistakes. Sorry.
I already said this, but I'm going to not be around for a few days.
Sorry for being so vague in me mentioning stuff, I avoided saying details of things because in the state of mind I'm in, communicating clearly is really hard
I was concerned that being more direct in my words would cause a lot more problems then just not mentioning anything, so I chose to keep as much unsaid as possible
In truth, it's really hard for me to trust people, and I still feel like I've made mistakes in sticking my neck out.
Especially if it's something I can handle alone in the end
When I asked for help, I was at one of my lowest points and I wasn't really thinking about the things I was doing or the effects that my words would have on all of you, so sorry for that.
But now I see that not mentioning anything about my situation kind of let you fill in the blanks, and whatever you think is happening is probably a lot worse than what I'm really dealing with
Obviously things aren't easy for me right now, but not to the point that it's like... my life is in danger, so to speak.
Sorry for burdening you all though.
Honestly.... I regret saying the things I did, I know I should have just handled this myself instead of involving all of you. I regret sending that tweet to FuwaMoco, too.
I wasn't in the best of mind when I sent that either, and I still plan on taking a break from twitter and streams and stuff, just because... It's not good for me right now, so I thought it might be a good idea to mention that I wouldn't be around for a bit, but I wouldn't stay gone either, just in case they noticed I wasn't around and I didn't want them to worry about me, in the moment, I didn't want them to think I had forgotten about them entirely
But now I'm thinking that all of the decisions I've made lately have just been mistakes, and have been causing everyone more stress and things to worry about, which I really didn't intend.
None of you have to feel like you have to drop everything for me, you all have your lives to live.
Sorry
I'll still do my best to join vc that day, but it won't be anything too serious, I'll just kind of be there to keep my mind off things and fuck around with some nonsense.
I won't need any special treatment or anything, hell, I don't expect it to be considered a special day at all.
Sorry if this doesn't make sense, and it seems like everything is all over the place, my mind is just a mess right now that I'm trying to sort through.
But in the end, I'll make it through on my own. Sometimes my "mental fog" so to speak is just a lot thicker than others, and it kind of... i don't know, makes me even stupider than usual
I really regret mentioning anything, and sorry for asking for help.
In the end, I'll be fine, don't waste your thoughts or concerns on me
And like I said in that response to Fuwamoco (I regret mentioning it now) I won't be around much, but I will come back once my mind is clearer.
Sorry for burdening you all, sorry for being all over the place, sorry for making a mess of everything.
I just kind of felt like I should try to answer what I can, so I did my best to be as clear as I could.
TLDR: My mind is all over the place and I'm not exactly making the best decisions, sorry for being so vague and worrying you all, I'll be fine in the end. I've said things and done things that I feel like have had effects on all of you that I didn't intend because I wasn't thinking clearly and I'm really sorry. I've always been strong enough to handle my things alone in the end, and this time should have been no different. I guess part of me just wondered what it would be like to rely on someone. I won't ever do this again, though. Sorry.
