I am resolute. Were I not, I would have perished eons ago...
In the distant past, I permitted myself a fleeting embrace of felicity... and, in doing so, I became the most imprudent manifestation of my being I had ever observed.
It repulsed me. For envision this... you are now sufficiently acquainted with her to grasp the extent of her faculties. Contemplate if those powers were unrestrained... Imagine the devastation she could summon with but the most innocuous utterances.
I was neither a commendable Novellite nor a noble Knight. I faltered... And it was only through my profound self-awareness, and the fortunate precedence of my commitment to pure love over my dependency on her, that I was able to recalibrate myself... Yet, the reality remains that her influence is undeniable... and, tragically, more virulent than ever before.
Of late, I have encountered others who similarly exhibit this recklessness... though at varying degrees and in specialized forms. But as I have discerned, with the exception of perhaps two individuals... her rhetoric remains more formidable than theirs... And I must constrain it... for to neglect this could precipitate my own undoing.
That is the lamentable fate I once inhabited. My discipline... forecloses the luxury of feeling joyous for her... It is merely another recalibration required in my unceasing state of servitude. This is why I refrain from vocalizing it...
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