>>2259165In spite of all this though, I'm still alive for now. I don't plan to kill myself, but at the same time I really can't see myself being old, I don't think I'll make it that far. But we'll see. I'll continue to struggle and try. Currently my partner is the only thing making life bearable and keeping me together, but just barely. They don't know the extent of how I feel, and I hope they never find out. I don't want to worry them, sap even more energy from them.
Please carry on anons. Hopefully it will get better. I don't know whether it will, but I have to hope, otherwise the answer is clear, and it scares me.
