Just turned 26. The same week, I got a promotion and a raise, which was nice.
I feel quite accomplished and unaccomplished at the same time. I've had some successes in my life –moved out early, got a degree from a good school, got a good job, generally have my life together. But I often think that a lot is passing me by. It's difficult to see that certain people have achieved so much by my age –professionally, creatively, academically, what have you – when I really don't think I've done the same. Some of those achievements are so huge and all-encompassing that it seems unrealistic for me to think I'll ever catch up.
I spent the past three years writing a book, which is now being sent along to literary agents. It's nice to have finished a creative project for the first time in my life, but at the same time, it sometimes seems pointless. In the very unlikely event that it does get published, really – who cares? Nobody reads anymore. (Except me, apparently.) It's not even close to making a video game or having a career on YouTube, insipid as those things may seem. At least they make you rich and popular. Have I wasted my time? Have I wasted my youth? Should I have been doing something else? If so, what?
I think I'm at the point where I've "grown up". A lot of the entertainment that I spent my teen years obsessed with – video games, anime, you know the drill –now don't give me the same pleasure they used to. At the same time, I'm discovering a lot of joy in stuff I never noticed before. I really like reading books, and listening to music and podcasts. I manage my home. I cook, I clean, I get groceries. Is that what my 20s is supposed to be?
I dunno. I don't really have any friends, but I'm well-liked at work and with my family. I'm not in a relationship, but that's not really a huge priority for me right now. I've done some stuff, but it all just feels so small and inconsequential.
Is this good or bad? Am I good or bad? I wish I knew.
I like /wg/ a lot.
