>>7236432Just had a two hour long conversation with my friend about this. Her situation was similar, but her relationship lasted eight years. I would suggest you confront your sense of self worth and understand what level of love and commitment you feel you are worthy of--- considering at the same time the amount of love and commitment YOU put into the relationship; after all, these things are reciprocal and deserve to be rooted within one another, not exclusive to each other. I understand that your boyfriend may have provided you some necessary comfort before, but it seems he is ultimately draining you now.
Your final two sentences speak more to the problem than perhaps everything you wrote. Your self-worth, self-confidence, and defense to negative emotion all need to increased. You raise your self-worth and self-confidence by having good morals and sticking to them no matter what. Build up that foundation within yourself and others will flock to you. Additionally, you raise your defense to negative emotion by securing yourself in the domains of your life that are the most important: Family, friends, intimate relationship, work, something interesting outside of work, routine that regularizes your day, and drugs (i.e. anything that compromises your ability to accurately perceive objective reality in pursuit of expediency). Get those domains in order. Easier said then done, I know. But there's a good chance you will meet an incredible amount of people in your future who will need your help and also enjoy your company. Stay alive and make yourself healthy for them. Don't sacrifice your future for your past or present.