>>7838245My girlfriend got sexually assaulted a couple weeks ago. I'm trying to be there as much as I can but I'm too problem focused and she just wants to move on.
I'm just so angry at the injustice of it all. This has happened before to another friend and it's horrible. My gf was doing really well with her mental health and now it's all been smashed. Uni is almost over so I'll be able to be there for her more but right now I'm stuck doing revision and working so I'm disconnected from her. I know I'm just doing my best but I feel like I'm not doing enough. She's getting support from our friends and she knows she can come to me but people have been telling me to talk about it and how it's making me feel. I feel selfish even talking about it and what do I even say to people? That I'm angry? That I wish my gf would do something to catch this person? I keep imagining myself killing the person who did this to her and it just makes me feel super protective and a bit paranoid. I'm doing better but its hard.
We had a talk the other night and she said she doesn't know how I feel. That she can't get a read on me a lot of the time which makes her nervous and that she's bothering me. That kind of hurt because that's just how I am, I don't like showing much of what's going on inside of me. It's something we have talked about before but it's so tied to my way of behaving. I feel like I can deal with my own problems and those that I can't I talk about with my therapist. But obviously I need to change if it's effecting my loved ones but I don't know how much that entails. There's things about our relationship I don't want to talk about and there's things about myself I don't want to talk about either.
I just try to run at a even pace as much as I can because it's my preferred way of approaching my life. I'm just not sure how to crack that without letting everything out, which isn't what I want to let into my everyday.
Dramatic I know but things have been weighing on me.
