>>6794029God damn, I do not visit /wg/ enough, but every time I do it feels like the most genuine and sincere board here, so here it goes.
I'm attending my fourth year of college now and am still not even core complete because I fucked up my schedule starting off, so even though I m the only one in my family to attend, I still have nothing to show for it.
My last relationship ending because the girl realized that she was a lesbian, which is fine and all and I have come to terms with it, but we clicked so fucking well that even almost a year later I am finding it very hard to meet anyone like that, and the relationship I had before her was so toxic and harmful that it almost embedded itself into my brain, like I default to this chick whenever I am feeling anything short of happy.
I live in literally an abandoned trailer that a friend from high school "converted" to be livable, but it's still filled with mold and leaks and shit, but every time I get a new job to save money and get out life presents itself and I have something new to pay for.
I keep finding myself thinking about life (mine specifically, I know I could never understand it as a whole), and I keep realizing that while I'm not suicidal, I am perfectly content with dying, I have thought about the general concept of my death nearly every day since graduating high school, and I am just honestly living to wait for death at this point.
I feel like everything I do is meaningless because I have no devout believes in what will happen when I die, if I am dead, than I cannot think or act, so nothing I will have done matters, and I know that is close-minded as fuck, but everytime I try to view it differently I just reroute myself back to that school of thought.
Here is an edit I made of that one wallpaper, thanks to anyone who is willing to listen to something that is going to be deleted when the thread dies.
