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After just under three years of depression I feel like I've been living again, and am really content most of the time. I've managed to get a hold of my anxiety to an extent which is pretty good as well.
It feels kind of weird to have my life somewhat worked out for at least the near future. Like, I'm suspicious of this great time I'm having. I've taken a gap year in which I've travelled, worked and made great friends, I've got a job which I love, got great summer plans, going to a really good university that I like in September.
And yet it feels strange. I hate to reference a film, but in Deadpool there's the whole thing of life being a series of train-wrecks with brief commercial-like breaks of happiness. Right now I feel like I'm in one of those commercials and it's going to come crashing down at some point.
In the meantime though, I'm making the most of it that I can. I've realised that once you stop stressing about how other people think of you, life gets easier. I've decided that I need to stop asking "why?" and start saying "why not?" We're all gonna die so you might as well do some cool shit before you go.