>>7501745I don't know man. There's a ton of stuff on my mind. There's this love factor and a certain amount of fear and uncertainty about the future. I'm in senior high school right now. We will graduate in a few months and then yeah I'm gonna lose contact with so many people- everyone starting off on their own paths further. This is what makes me fear about my girlfriend too. I don't quite trust long distance relationships. My head says that we'd be better off if we parted ways too with time. But then again my heart isn't ready to allow that. Mixed feelings you know! On one had I really want us to go on further. We have a great mutual understanding, she is the perfect kind of simple for me. I kind of dislike too modern kinky ass women who have a problem with just everything. I wonder if I'll ever meet anybody who is so similar to me in so many different ways as she is. Then comes the career stuff. I'm trying for the SATs. I've quite bunked the country exams for admissions into college because I don't like the way they teach. I want my own free hand and correct amount of exposure to practical applications and development(I wanna go for Computer Science). I hate the way they prepare us in the coaching centers which are supposed to guide you with the academics. We literally start certain chapters with questions. They're essentially turning us into robots that know how to solve questions rather than knowing the theory. There's a ton of similar reasons. But anyway SATs and American Universities isn't the conventional route. My parents are freaked out about my future. I'm working for hours on my computer but they don't consider it work. If I'm tired after a hard day's work, and they start lecturing me again, I seriously cannot take it. I understand that they're concerned, but if they don't understand they can let me handle my shit! All they do is add up to the self doubt that I already have. I was the school topper. I never thought I'll someday doubt myself.
