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In my mind i knew it couldn't work out long term. I'm going to uni now but in one year I'll commission into the army, she just graduated with a degree in theater and is moving across the country for a new job soon, even farther than the long distance we've been doing for years. I knew it couldn't work, she'd have to give up her dreams to be with me long term. I don't want her to give up on acting, she's damn good and its her passion. But I've signed the papers and sold my soul to uncle sam. I can't offer her what she needs. She needs to be in New York or LA or Chicago, not Fort Bragg or Riley or Bliss. All I could offer her was a 5 year pause on her dreams, weeks or even months of me being gone, and a high likelyhood of divorce. And despite all the shit-- a small, selfish part of me wanted her to chose that.
I wanted her to want to be with me.
