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It's a long-ass story, but basically, I was going through a really fucking rough patch in my life, where everything was just going wrong all at once. I was depressed, I felt abandoned, betrayed, like no one really gave a shit about me, or my existence. I tried so hard to accomplish what I wanted, only to fall short. And in my rough patch, I just decided "fuck it, I'm just only going to rely on myself, that way, no one can ever hurt me again". And so for months I had that attitude, and you can probably guess, but it just made me even worse, and everything got even worse. It's pretty petty personal shit, but it got to the point where I realized that my shitty behaviour was affecting not only myself, but my family, and my dad personally had a talk with me to tell me how worried he was for me, and I finally woke up, and realized how self-destructive I was being, how that was no way to react to all the bad shit that was going on in my life. So I got on a sorta little journey to improve myself, and really explore what the fuck I believed in, what I really stood for, and what I wanted to improve. At the same time, I read Berserk, and I felt like I could relate to Guts a ton, not in the fact that I was fighting demons and shit everyday, but the fact that he went through so much bad shit in his life, and yet, he still fights on, and isn't giving up. I know it's really fucking dorky, but this one panel I saw in the manga really stood out to me in particular, and to me it represented how even in absolute darkness, and despair, Guts still shines, and carries on, despite being battered and beaten. Again, I know this is really fucking dorky, but I hope I can be sorta like Guts one day. I've improved immensely to how I was back then, but I'm still far from figuring out my own life, and this pic motivates me to keep going, and to never give up.
