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Since i am schizophrenic and do not possess mind of my own, there is not really much to tell, there is only shallow urges and ripples on the surface, not corresponding with things deep inside, if there is anything at all. But if there was a functioning perpetual delusion that people call "self" it would have been pissed off by how inept everyone is; how people with sickness of my own have their hi-tech jobs while i don't; how everyone forces such life upon me and how silly i am to even bother with it; how frustrating it is to allow myself being ruled and helplessly drown in these cardboard decorations imposed by the very same no-one as me, although this no-one is undoubtedly more powerful since he is consensual and i'm not. Only if i could possess everyone and increase my sheer mass and enrich it with counteractions, maybe only then this feeling of pitifulness would begone. Or is it another delusion, and in reality you cannot maintain any sort of mind without any sort of pain. If you could call it a pain, and not another movement on some layer of the world's soul, that is.
