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Turned some years a few weeks back. I had some goals 10 years ago thinking when I'm so and so old I'll have done that that and that.
Haven't done anything but be drunk, get fat and masturbate. Pretty sure going to have a stroke or something soon. Just wish if it happens it happens at work or somewhere with people, because if it happens at home it's going to be days before they start calling my parents from work. And by then I'll have died.
Have thought of offing myself but I'm convinced I can't do it myself.
Nothing excites me anymore, I'm honestly looking forward to fucking nothing. I just go to work, get back home, spend the day watching the fucking same tv shows I've seen for 10 times already, drink beer, go to sleep, repeat.
Work fucking sucks. Coworkers are pretty cool and fun, so there's that at least. Don't know what the fuck I was thinking when I picked that job. Dead-end job, doesn't really pay anything (enough to drink shitloads of beer every weekend), not really interested in the whole thing, and at times fucking back-breaking. Partly because I'm a fat fuck.
I just wish I could turn back the clock for 10 years.
