>>7406401another thing that's been bothering me is that I realized I have never really had a hobby. apart from vidya, but I'm not sure whether I actually liked it, or did it because I had nothing else to do.
maybe it has something to do with the fact that I never asked my parents to sign me up for music classes or sports clubs or whatever, because I was afraid that I would be taking advantage of them, their time, their money and their ability to drive me to training/class. if I recall correctly, my mom would sometimes mention that she didn't like having to take me and picking me up from swimming class (something I didn't ask for, she signed me up for it) when she was in a bad mood, and that may have been a reason for me not to ask her to sign me up for anything else.
or maybe it's because I've always been afraid that I would lose my interest too quickly, and that all the time and money sunk into it would be wasted. I don't know why I've had that idea stuck in my head for so long, it might just be an excuse I thought up somewhere along the line to hide the true reason.
maybe it's simply because my expectations are way too high. I started playing guitar in december, and I don't think I've improved much. I don't think I have been practising consistently; sometimes I practise for only 15 minutes, or not at all for a few days in a row. I sometimes lose my motivation really quickly, especially since I feel like I haven't improved enough, even though the reasons why are pretty clear, so it feels kind of dumb to get upset about it. one half of me says "man up and practise more", the other half says "you're unmotivated so often, maybe you should just quit".
I post pictures of modern looking things, since I feel like most of my problems are first world problems.
