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I don't have any good advice to give to you like some other posters here, but i can tell you from my personal experience that you should try reading some pessimistic philosophy or any philosophy books by philosopher who holds the view that life is suffering and you have to accept it because there is no other way around it. I have realised that it was during the times i held a optimistic view of life that i have suffered the hardest blows of my life, i now accept that most of life is suffering and all those who aren't suffering right now are lucky like i am right now. Try reading some Schopenhauer, Stoics(Letters are a good place to start) or Buddhist philosophy