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I am going to die alone. I've thrown away my entire youth by spending 10 years locked away in my room, haven't read, haven't gotten learned playing an instrument, haven't done anything creative with that time whatsoever. Just 10 years wasted. Not long until I'm 30 now and I have nobody. I've never been intimate with another person before and I never will be. I'm broken and I fucked up my chance at life, what is left of me after all this time is just a broken animal waiting to die.
Nobody understands, not even I do. It's just ugly and pitiable, and wholly unattractive. I hate myself so much.
