>>7555989conversely escaping the whole idealized "god and family" shit is how i really learned to love life.
i felt like i was being insulated from things which were tough to swallow but nevertheless ought to be addressed, and i felt a strong urge to escape that.
it always felt like people used god as a way to leverage their idealization of me when interacting with them. they would tell me they thought god wanted this or that, and everyone had scripture to back what they thought i ought to do. it was frustrating, because as i started to really dig into tough questions about myself and my blind faith to an unknowable entity for which we have no evidence i started to think less and less about "my purpose" and way more about "what i want to do"
and i haven't had a single fucking regret since.