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>My age:
I turned 30 this year. And spent the last 10 years of my life doing nothing but cleaning up after my mothers messes and taking care of animals in exchange for a place to live. I couldnt get a job, didnt have a car until a few years ago. And only since then have I started slowly to get some forward momentum...
But I'm 30, and it feels like I'm starting to late.
>My job:
I'm only just starting, and it's hard physical labor with alot of down time in between. Union work. Solar fields. I like it but it takes such a toll on me, and I feel it changing me. Stripping away things I considered my identity and leaving little room for much else. I suffer times when I feel like an alien to myself, a drone. And when it's over I have to rediscover myself and try not to fall into depressive habits.
>My relationship:
I'm happier then I've ever been, but still disquieted. I've been with her for almost 3 years now, but still cant decide if I want to stay with her forever or not.
Partly because I dont feel like I'm done yet. Too many other women I want to be with atleast once. And it doesnt help that I have the chances to.
I'm no cheater. But I wish I was.
I could never keep that inside.
And I love her to much.
But even then, she has such health problems....
Her life is in a shit position and she cant get out of the same holes I had such a hard time trying to get out of.
Her health is bad. Overweight with blood clots since a young age.
And we desperately want children...but it would probably kill her...
And where as I am careful...she wishes I would just try....
>My family:
my father is getting old, and being reckless with his money. Stacking up credit cards, and worse, helping his deadbeat friend whom is leeching off of him.
My mother (they are divorced) cant stop getting animals.
Too many dogs that keep breeding.
Her house ruined by cats that keep breeding.
Cages full of birds that honestly I'm fine with.
And horses....far FAR too many horses.
Making us all horse poor.
