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The experience of having a father. I am not certain it would have made as big a difference as I hope it would, but I also get stuck only hearing stories about him that are positive. He was 21 years old when he died, my mother pregnant, and it was only three months before I was born. I am 35 now and still harbor deep resentment against anyone I see having healthy relationships with their sons. I also actively try to embarrass sons in front of their fathers, and did so even more when I was in my 20s and playing competitive sports. If I knew a dad was watching their kid play, an unholy rage possessed me and I would obliterate their kid in front of them.
