>>7627838>cont.And you'd think from all the solitude I'd feel lonely but it's the opposite, solitude gives me peace, it's not always pleasant but it makes sense to me, I savor it so much I don't have pets, I don't even keep a house plant. I trade most every bit of good will and fortune I have just so people leave me alone as much as possible.
When I'm alone, good days, bad days, depression, joy. None of it makes a difference, nobody sees it and nobody cares, nobody can inject their morality or their biases onto it.
It might be kind of edgy to say but the words that have always given me the most peace of mind when I'm stressing over pretty much anything are "you are going to die alone", to know that I'll disappear and nobody will notice, they won't spare a second glance for me, it's so... freeing, no pressure.
I've been alone a majority of my life, and while I like to experience the world, the sights, the sounds, the tastes, even the people in it, at the end of the day... I am alone.