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I'm a freshman in college with zero direction in life. No interests, no passions, nothing that makes me truly happy. That's how I've always been, I've never really been interested in any subject, hobby, or anything. That's not an exaggeration in the least bit. People keep trying to reassure me and tell me to just "give it time" or "you're only a freshman don't worry about it" but that gets me nowhere. I'm basically wasting my parent's money by being here because the only realistic options are for me to drop out and do who knows what or settle for some major/career I have no interest in.
Also, before I moved away for college and because of me being stupid I lost the very best, and one of the only friends I ever had. I want to talk with her again more than anything. I just feel incredibly lonely and confused all the time. I'm always extremely shy and reserved but I just got back from a concert on campus where one of the bands I used to listen to years ago played and basically broke down, felt like I was going to die, and was the wildest person there. Weird how things work out sometimes.
This wallpaper has always really relaxed me very deeply and I'm not too sure why but I just love to stare at it.
Thanks for listening to my annoying whining.
