>>6529042I know that feel anon. I've been there. I did the same exact thing. I hurt the only woman I've ever loved so bad that she won't even date anymore. I won't even date anymore. I keep searching for that girl that will fill that hole in my heart that she occupied, but she's gone.
Every night I prayed or hoped or whatever for us to maybe get back together. Every night I wished that we could reconcile and move past whatever caused us to break up. I did the same thing where I stopped hoping we would get back together. I just want her to be happy. I wish I could be that person who made her happy.
She won't talk to me now. Only in shielded replies. She thinks she is the reason why I'm depressed, why I tried to kill myself before. But it wasn't her. It was the fact that I hurt her that made me do it.
I'm glad you've tried move on, and I hope it gets better anon. I really do.