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I suffered from very, very serious depression for years. I remember one night feeling so profoundly, deeply horrible, and realizing there was no possible scenario in my life that could cause this feeling - I couldn't even imagine anything that could cause this deep of a sadness. This was so far off the charts, so far outside of reality. It was then at that deep, deep hell, walking down the street at 9:30 at night, that I realized this was beyond my ability to rationalize.
And then I stopped and ate something. And suddenly I felt great again. And I realized... this was something my body was doing. This wasn't even a thinking pattern. It was a physical thing.
That night changed my life. It's been just over 20 years since then and while I occasionally have a few bad days, it's nothing at all like it used to be.
I can't tell you the "fix" because that's different for everybody, but I can tell you that the first step was the most critical: to start looking at your emotions as things that are not caused by the world or any real truth about self. It's just something that's happening in the body. And if it's happening in the body, then it can be changed. That was enough to get me looking for a solution that didn't have to do with "changing my life", and was more focused on "changing my health".
Well, that and kicking the addictive cycle of depression. (Remember: depression is addictive because it makes you feel important - you will seek it out when it's not there out of habit!)
Good luck and godspeed my friend. Sending you positive vibes.
