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I can't stop thinking about how I might actually want to be a professional ballet dancer. I've been dancing my whole life and I got up to the pre-professional level but for most of the time I thought of it as a means of adding to my college resume or a supplement to my academics. Now I'm in college and in Summer break, and without the distraction of schoolwork I can't help but miss dance and think about where else I could be right now, like on stage, in front of thousands. It's not all roses, and there's a lot of things to a dancers life which instinctively and rightfully turned me away from the career before, but maybe being a professional dancer has always been my path and I just haven't seen it even though its always been right in front of me. I see a lot of my ballet friends, too, who have gone on to be professional at big-name places. The dance world feels so close but so far. I'm going away for the summer so I won't be able to dance at all really, and then school starts right up again. Am I missing my destiny? I think back to all the times when everyone else would have quit but something inside of me kept me going without question, and all of the crazy coincidences that combined to make me dance, and dance more. I never thought of dance much outside of my lessons when I was in high school, but now after not dancing for a year it consumes me. I kept dancing when times were hard because I felt like it was too late to quit, and I'm worried the longer I wait the more it will feel like it is too late to begin again. But what do I do, drop out of college with a 4.0 GPA and an intellectual career that I've worked so hard for? With all these other, non-dance things going for me, and so many relationships in college?
