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I am sorry anon.
I feel the same way towards my grandfather, he is 81 now and an alcoholic, but thankfully he is healthy for now.
Think about the impact he had on you, think about how life is a beautiful cycle, he mattered enough to you that now you are deeply saddened by his passing. But he will live on. He has shaped you in one form or another, and so the impact you leave on other people will partly be his doing. I wish you all the best
