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Hard to explain what i want to say, but i have this life, not bad not good but life, im 22,and im lost in this world and in my head. I have girlfriend for 2 years now, shes my first girlfriend, and for quite long now im feeling thats was a mistake, at first i was thinking that i have love wit her, but now looking back, im simply dont know, shes somehow holding me back, without her in my 18th i was studying, had clear plans, and was going for it, but when she appeared in my life, everything is mess, ive changed 6 workplaces from time when we meet, i have mess with plans, and for two years life not going anywere. I think that without her it would be quite easier to moving in life, and there would be much more freedom for me. She wants a family, but im not, she wants a wedding and im not. In early days of our relationship, i 3 times saved her from suicide, and she told me that if i leave her she would certainly do that to herself, but in present time she changet that tone, and for now she would not kill herself if im leave. That reason, suicidal reason was hold in our relationship for almost 2 years, but now whet this hold is gone, i simply don't know. Nothing holding myself from breaking with her and moving in life. But other part of me, other part telling, that she good girl, she's beautiful, but shes appear to early in my life, and im not ready fro this. Also this would break her heart, that what im thinking about. Im lost, maybe someone here can say something or maybe someone has something somilar, please respond. Im completely lost, and don't know what to do in this stage of my life
