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Hey bro, happy birthday! 20! It's a fucking big one! I just truned twenty a few months back and can relate to the feeling. I think we all can. That's why we are all here. Together i mean!
Think about that though you literally have the support of hundreds and thousands of people simply because you have these fears that are shared amongst everyone.
Life is better than you think and greater than you know. Savor these young years!