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I was groomed as a kid. I was around 8 or 9. It wasn't violent or anything like that, he wasn't immediate family so it's not as traumatizing as it being your father or something I guess. It went on for a couple of summers then I got too old for him. I never told anyone because I'm a good obedient kid that can keep a secret. I got over it alone after years of believing I'm the dumbest most naive kid on the planet, then I was in denial I was completely fine and it was all in the past then I was peer pressured into dating and it happened again except it hurt this time and I was 18. I felt stupid again. I'm fine now but I've begun to notice these small issues I never noticed before like how I can't be honest with my parents about anything or how I never seem capable of saying what I'm actually feeling and how fake I feel when I'm socializing because usually I'm the loud funny I enjoy being this person but is it really me?
I think I wrote a lot and maybe it won't be read but feels good to talk about all of it for the first time