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suicide sucks man, if you are still here to read this, don't do it mate. i have had so many friends and family commit suicide and it hurts bad. do you really think the love one you lost would want you to do this? the pain of life is huge i know but there is always a light at the end of the tunnel, no matter if you can see it right now or not. Winston Churchill once said if you are going through hell, keep going. that's the best i can say for ya mate. good luck