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I've always been a lonely person. Even when surrounded by loved ones it just feels like there is this disconnect. I find the sunny days of spring, summer and fall oppressing. They just exacerbate the negative aspects of the loneliness. Seeing kids play, people fall in love and not feeling able to participate. It's only on the cool, rainy days that I feel okay with my solitude. This particular picture I rocked for a while after a strong crush told me she only saw me as a friend. Rain drops just make me feel okay with the solitude. I only really feel good on cool rainy days. We started to grow closer due to the emotions surrounding Christmas holiday and actually ended up hooking up shortly after Valentines day. We had an intense, but short-lived thing that ended with me absolutely broken-hearted and she moved on fast. I guess she needed some warmth for the worst part of the winter, and I'm alone again. I adore her but we'll never be together. Alone again..
