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Partially relationship related.
A couple of weeks ago I organised the funeral arrangements for my grandmother. She took care of me as a teenager when she found out about my abusive parents, so I've always been close to her. I looked up to her so much and now she's gone.
I asked her how she wants her funeral to go when she was in hospital and we ended up joking around about playing "ding dong the witch is dead." Well, I did it. It was crushingly hilarious and I bet she'd be proud if she were still around.
None of my family appreciated it however, save for two. None of them want anything to do with me now, which is fine as my grandma was the only one I was close to really. Still hurts to hear, plus the funeral wasn't cheap yet I had to pay for it all myself.
I'm also recently out of a 4 year relationship. It was all so sudden. She liked going out with her friends a lot, every other weekend or so to clubs and things. Not what I'm into so I stayed home most nights. Well, she makes a quick pit stop home one night to pick up her purse she forgot with her friend and two random guys sitting in the car. When I see them, she tells me she wants to talk when she gets home. I get woken by her, drunk at 3am, saying how she wants to break up. She's sick of being in a relationship and wants to go out partying as a single girl like all her friends. It was already pretty clear what was going on by this point, but her best friend confined with me a while back about how my gf was cheating on me for months. Confirming what I was already pretty sure of.
Then a couple days ago, while trying to cheer myself up at the bottom of a bottle, I had a heart attack. From all the stress of things lately I guess. So today I write this as I wait for the test results but it seems likely that I'm truly heart broken.
