>>7891574OP here. You know what anon, I really think you will get it all. Don't know how old you are, but even by 35, 40, or even 50, I'm 99% sure that you will get it, if it is what you have your heart set on. About the NPC thing, my retard theory is this: If the reincarnation thing is real, and it does have a lot of logical merit, then maybe this life if your off day. So why not relax and do whatever the hell you want to be as comfy as you can? You'll have plenty of time to put in work in your next life. That has been my approach for a while now, and it seems to work out. The universe is listening always and is always helping you. You only have to see the signs and not oppose it. Godspeed, anon!
