>>7819427>>78194375 years later, she messages me out of the blue saying she's in the area seeing a friend. I decided to meet with her, partly out of guilty conscience for how terribly I had ended things. I began having these strangely intense erotic dreams about her in the run-up to meeting her and I was worried about old feelings resurfacing, but when I saw her I was shocked by how.. unattracted I was to her. Not that she was repellent - it was just the complete absence of any romantic or sexual attraction I had once held for her. We had a couple of dinners, caught up with each other, I showed her around town. All pretty friendly. On her last day, I walked her back to her AirBnB and we hugged when saying goodbye. The hug lingered - but I ended it, said goodbye and left her.
We exchanged messages for a while afterward, but it fizzled out. Nonetheless, I was glad I did it. It was extremely cathartic and completely took me by surprise. She had spent 5 years on my mind as a painful memory, and just like that the burden had been lifted. She seemed happy, had a good job. People move on. The pain which burns hot and fresh in the wake of a break-up is forgotten, and we are reminded of the good of the relationship in time (a little too much in her case).
One last thing. I had asked a lot of friends and family if they had ever willingly met with an ex before and none of them had. I was often asked in return, "why would you?" Obviously, if your ex tried to stick you with the kitchen knife I don't recommend it, but anything short of that and you might be surprised. It might be more healing than 6 months of therapy.
