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I apologize in advance for my ramblings but I saw the thread and felt like I could form my thoughts into something coherent with all this positivity.
I just spent the last twenty minutes crying my eyes out for the first time in a long time. Huge changes are happening in my life right now and I feel so scared, alone and pressured to make everything work out somehow. I'm 25 but I don't even know the most basic things about adult life. I don't know how to drive and I've lived with family all this time but will possibly be moving into my own place, though I would barely be making enough to cover all the expenses I would have. I don't understand how bills or taxes or banking or any of the most basic of things work. My job is steady and I'm even being considered for a fairly big promotion which would pay much better than what I'm currently making but I'm nervous as hell about screwing up and making things worse. I have a wonderful and loving girlfriend who is the only person I can talk to about any of these things and as much as she wants to help me with these feelings I have, I'm deathly afraid of pushing her away with how insane I feel these days. I find myself longing for those carefree days of my youth where all I needed to worry about was school, friends, cartoons, games and all the other things we take for granted as children. I feel more alone and scared than I've ever felt in my life and it's a crushing weight which I've thought about making all go away with a firearm. I don't know if I could ever go through with it but just having the thought in the back of mind is both terrifying and a comfort as odd as that may sound. I'm so sorry for all of this and I don't even know if anyone will see this but I just wanted to get this all out of me.
